it's not happening to me, it's just happening

there are too many times where i, in any situation, believe that things are happening to me. john being depressed or working long hours are not things that are happening to me, they are just happening. when i looked through the lens of happening to me, everything seemed so person. these were things that were happening to john, like depression, not happening to me. i needed to be there and supportive and positive, instead of seeing it as something that was such an inconvenience to me or a reflection of me. john working long hours in the nature of his business, true i was not getting as much time as i may have wanted to get with him, but this was happening because of work to john, not to me. 

goal: identify and understand that somethings just happen and they are not personal or aimed at me, by virtue of knowing someone or being in their life i know about, but rather than take it personally, i need to recognize the effects of it on the person it is actually happening to. i need to find ways to help them get through what is happening to them, not force additional stress on them because i have the incorrect perception of the situation.