ew and blah

yesterday i had mh over to my house. needless to say, it was way too late at night and i am exhausted. okay, the nitty gritty. we got naked, he keeps, over and over, telling me how beautiful i am, but we did everything but have sex. i don't like him, i don't like his personality, i don't like his looks, i don't like anything. i feel gross and dirty today, just disgusted with him, with myself, and the whole situation. i feel like i need to take a shower and wash it off over and over again. i am sick with myself, totally sick with myself. i want to take it all back.

the other night with brett, it felt good, it felt fun, it felt right for right now. i like him, he's interesting, he's good looking, and he's so fun. everything i want right now and nothing more.

resolve: don't call michael, don't call marc, stick with brett, lofty and lightly.